3 Reasons to See a Counselor
From one woman to another, let me tell you immediately that you are not failing if you ask for help. In the 14 years I have worked with women in various settings, there is one thing that stands out as a common denominator among them – it was really hard to slow down and make time to prioritize their own needs.
Women tend to live with the expectation that we have must always have it together, do all the things, manage multiple schedules, manage the house, all while maintaining a social life and the appearance of happiness. Women are phenomenal at doing all the above and making sure everyone else in their lives is okay. But what about you? If we chipped away at the busy schedule and really dug deep to find out YOUR needs, what would we find?
How can a counselor help me with my challenges?
Does this sound familiar?
“I am so tired at the end of the day I can’t think about going anywhere else”
“I cannot think about adding anything else to my plate”
“My kids/spouse/job requires so much of me I feel like I have nothing else to give”
“I feel like I’m failing if I ask for help”
If you find yourself nodding along, trust me, you are not alone. For fellow readers like myself, it is well documented in research that women tend to prioritize their families, homes, and friends over their own needs, and they aren’t inclined to ask for help. The belief that we are failing if we ask for help is a pervasive barrier even in modern society.
You are important too!
This isn’t suggesting that caring for our families, our children, our homes, and our jobs isn’t important. Those things are very important, and as nurturers and caretakers, the desire to help is part of our divine nature. The desire to help is as ingrained in us as the likelihood we will put off asking for help when we are struggling.
It is entirely possible to feel strengthened and sustained by our relationships, our families, our communities, and our faith. Because it is possible to feel better due to the connections we have with others, that may add to the internal conflict over whether to ask for help. You may ask yourself “Isn’t this enough?” or “What more do I need…surely something is wrong with me.”
Nothing is wrong. Since you’ve found this blog, chances are you’re already considering reaching out for help and support. Exhaustion doesn’t have to be a status symbol and it is completely acceptable to pause and make decisions for yourself in those stressful moments where you’re questioning everything.
How Counseling Can Help Women
These reasons aren’t exclusive, but three of the top reasons I’ve noticed throughout my career for seeking counseling support.
When you see a counselor, you are modeling to those around you that it is completely acceptable to ask for help. Whether you are a single woman climbing the career ladder (or married!); a new mother adjusting to life with a baby or parenting adult children while navigating your own career or retirement, counselors provide insight and wisdom on things that can be beneficial and helpful in your life. This might look like setting boundaries, establishing a plan for reaching out to your support system, or navigating difficult conversations about work-life balance.
You are demonstrating strength, not weakness, by communicating your needs. And sometimes, we manage to find strength in our weaknesses! A counselor can help normalize the struggles of life while facilitating conversation about areas where you need help. The shoulders of a woman carry so much, but even the strongest shoulders need a break from the load. By going to see a counselor, you can have help and support identifying areas where you need the most help. And it doesn’t have to be problem talk! We will start talking about your goals and hopes from the first session.
You can have a renewed sense of hope and joy despite life’s challenges. What a breath of fresh air, right?! In the midst of all that life is throwing our way in this pandemic, it is still possible to hold on to hope. Kaethe Weingarten wrote a wonderful article found here that talks about how it is possible to have hope that is ‘reasonable’ despite dealing with stressful or painful circumstances (or both). This by no means minimizes what you are going through, but instead, offers an extra form of support because I (your counselor) can hold on to hope with you.
What are some reasons you can think of for seeing a counselor? I’d love to connect. Please feel free to reach me here via my contact form or learn more about me here.
Dr. Olivia Wedel, LPC, NCC, LCDC has worked with women in various settings and with a diversity of needs since 2007. Currently, she is a mother, wife, professor, and business owner with previous experience in ministry. Dr. Olivia understands the various challenges that women face at different times in life. She brings a unique skill set into sessions through collaborative brainstorming, goal-setting, and support through a solution-focused, strengths-based framework. She is currently accepting appointments for in person sessions at Grapevine Birthing Center where the office space is peaceful, quiet, and supportive. Flexible telehealth options are also available.