How to Create a Postpartum Plan
Hospital Bag? Check. Birth Plan? Check. Postpartum Plan? Wait, what??
Adjusting to Life with a New Baby
In my experiences working with mothers, whether it is their first baby or their third (or fifth!), some common threads I have heard through the years include:
Having an ideal nursery
Perfectly organizing a hospital bag
Writing a detailed birth plan
Taking the best childbirth education classes for their needs
Touring either the hospital or birth center (if not birthing at home)
All the above are certainly important. And I highly recommend that my clients take childbirth education classes, write a birth plan, and tour their birth facility of choice. Packing a hospital bag in advance and having a plan for where your baby will sleep are also important as these decisions and preparations will prevent so much unnecessary stress.
Planning for Postpartum Care
Very few people have ever shared with me that they’ve written a plan for their own postpartum care. I had a mother tell me once that it seemed ‘crazy’ to write a plan for her own care because she ‘just assumed everything would work out and be taken care of’ but that is usually not the norm (as she learned).
So what is a postpartum plan? The postpartum plan takes into consideration the mother’s needs in the first three months of her baby’s life (along with the needs of the baby). While a newborn has a doctor visit within the first week of their life and then frequent wellness check-ups throughout their first couple of years, a mother in the United States has one (yes, you read that right – just one!) postpartum check-up usually around six-eight weeks for a birth with no complications. The fourth trimester is as essential for planning for mom’s care as it is for baby, but in our heavily industrialized western society, this is {sadly} not the case.
Considerations for Writing Your Postpartum Plan
Here are some points for consideration and discussion when writing your own postpartum plan.
The beauty of a postpartum plan is that it’s not only tailored to you individually, it also takes your partner’s needs into consideration. Instead of spending days and weeks researching various types of cribs and highchairs, make a list of people you trust that you can call in case you need a nap, help with laundry, or groceries. Perhaps someone from your neighborhood or church can mow your yard and take off trash.
When you’re writing out the list of outfits for your baby’s newborn pictures, make a list of people you can depend on for a meal train. Make a separate list of fewer names of people you can call when you are feeling overwhelmed and need a break.
The Fourth Trimester is Real!
If you aren’t familiar with the fourth trimester, please see the link above, or call me with any questions. Knowing what is normal and what to expect during the first three months following your baby’s birth can help in so many ways. Sleep is one of those things! In a society that demonizes infant sleep as something that must be fixed or taught, frequent night wakings are normal, especially for the first few months.
Discuss a plan for sleep for your baby (and yourself) with your partner. Sleep is essential for healing, but that can be very difficult when a baby’s circadian rhythm isn’t regulated until six weeks or later, and they may be awake all hours of the night…more than once. The AAP recommends that infants sleep in the same room as their parents/caregivers for the first 12 months of life to reduce the risk of SIDS.
Planning for Safe Sleep and Needing a Break
How will you create a safe sleep space for your baby in your room? There are options for floor beds, crib beds, and bassinets. Can your partner take turns responding during the night, and perhaps change the diaper after you do the feeding? Research shows 60-75% of families bedshare at some point too, and it’s very important to know how it can be done safely through the Safe Seven for Sleep whether breastfeeding or bottle feeding (bed sharing is heavily criticized in our society today although it used to be the norm, and remains the norm for many cultures and countries across the world as it is normal for babies to be close to their parent/caregiver).
The fluctuation of hormones after giving birth, combined with physical wounds of birth and lack of sleep, can cause mothers to feel stress and emotions beyond what is just ‘baby blues’ as it is called. It is critical to have a plan in place for a trusted adult who can help with your baby in those moments when you are overwhelmed and need a break. I encourage families I work with to have a trusted adult in addition to mom and dad because dads need a break too and will also experience postpartum distress. Our world tells mom she will be ‘back to normal’ in six-eight weeks when this is simply not the case.
“Normal” is Overrated!
Whatever you determine for your postpartum plan, I say give yourself a year or longer to feel ‘back to normal.’ Sure, it may happen sooner, and that’s great, but don’t be hard on yourself if you’re still catching your breath when your little one is 12 months or older.
You may read this and think it sounds like you’re creating a plan for so many unknowns. How can you write a plan for what you don’t know?! But that’s exactly why you should. I encourage you to consider your postpartum period the first 12 months, minimum, of your baby’s life, even though infancy is through three years of age. Really brainstorm and think about who you can rely on when you need a break (and you will need one!), need helping with grocery shopping, errands, and so forth. Having a list of options to call is helpful and will reduce stress in those moments where tension is high.
Bottom line – postpartum is not a race. Some days will be complete joy and others will be filled with sobs and frustration. Give yourself grace! You grew and birthed a human who now relies on you for everything while you are trying to heal as well.
I have helped numerous families write postpartum plans both before and after the births of their babies. I created a template to follow that can be tailored to your individual needs and desires as a family. If you would like to schedule an appointment to discuss postpartum planning, you may reach me here via my contact form or learn more about me here.
Disclaimer: Dr. Wedel is professionally trained by Postpartum Support International in their extensive Components of Care Curriculum, Advanced Psychotherapy for Perinatal Mood Disorders, and Advanced Psychopharmacology. She has also completed training in infant neuroscience. She is taking the certification exam in Perinatal Mental Health (PMH-C) in December 2021. She has worked with women and their children in various capacities for almost 15 years.
Dr. Olivia Wedel, LPC, NCC, LCDC has worked with women in various settings and with a diversity of needs since 2007. Currently, she is a mother, wife, professor, and business owner with previous experience in ministry. Dr. Olivia understands the various challenges that women face at different times in life. She brings a unique skill set into sessions through collaborative brainstorming, goal-setting, and support through a solution-focused, strengths-based framework. She is currently accepting appointments for in person sessions at Grapevine Birthing Center where the office space is peaceful, quiet, and supportive. Flexible telehealth options are also available.